August 3, 2008

(out of order and just noticed i put month 9 instead of 8 on the last couple posts...)

o my son’s 8th(!) birthday was Wednesday.  Eight?!?!  What in the world?  I can’t even believe how time is passing.  My first born, baby boy is 8.  I remember when he was a baby and Jake and I would try and peek into the future and we’d say, “Can you imagine him being six years old?”  When Jake started apprentice school Caed was 2 and we’d ponder, “Wow, when you’re done with school he’ll be FOUR!!  Whoa can you imagine?  And Kenna will be TWO!!”  Now my boy is 8 and Kenna will be six in a month and a half.

My friend Brandi R. was telling me how on Monday her oldest boy who’s 11 leaves for middle school church camp for a week (he’s now old enough to go) and she just can’t even believe it.  She’s said she’d probably cry.  I totally understood.  Not wierd at all.  I get it.  I teared up when Caed lost his first baby tooth.  I bawled me head off when I dropped them off for their first day of school last year.  Ugh.  Parenting is so hard in all sorts of ways. 

Good time to change subjects.  In other news…

I have one more day of week 7 left in my Couch-to-5K running plan.  Two weeks left!!  For the last three runs I’ve ran 25 minutes straight.  It’s suppose to be about 2 1/2 miles but since I’m slow it’s about 2 1/4.  I’m working on my speed.  I figure when I get to 30 minute runs my goal will be 10 minute miles so I can do 3 miles in 30 minutes.  Right now I’m about 11 (on a treadmill).  I’m actully very pleased with my progress even if I’m a little slow.  7 short weeks ago I couldn’t run 2 minutes withough getting very winded. 

I’ll probably run day 3 tomorrow or Monday then I’ll start week 8 which is 28 minute runs.  No more walking (as or day 3 of week 6) except for my 5 minute warm up. 

Today’s run though kicked my butt.  I was tired from the get go.  This was my third day of 25 minutes and I did nothing different.  The first two 25 minute runs I felt really good.  Nothing hurt, I wasn’t winded, it was just good.  Nothing hurts I was just tired!!  Maybe it was the 2 taquitos I had an hour before my run, ya think?  Whatever it was I was so tired.  Music didn’t help, nothing was good on the TV’s, I kept looking down at the time…it was tough.  And, like always, my face was red as a tomato when I got through.

Alrighty, gotta shower.  Adios peeps.

09/27/08

*after Cain’s offering was rejected by God, Geneses 4: 5-7**

5)So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell.

6)Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen?”

***and the next part is loaded with wisdom…if only Cain would’ve taken heed***

7)”If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it.”

Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!   That verse rocked my world this morning in a really good, encouraging way.  Cain did not heed God’s word.  The next thing He did was kill his brother.  I picture Cain knowing God was right but left in his anger, full of pride, mad at God for not accepting his offering.  And that attitude quickly overtook his thoughts and God’s voice was drowned out.  

I picture this in my own life.  There are times when I’ve done wrong, been selfish, whiny, or upset at God for not working things out like I had planned.  God talks to me and I know He’s right.  Sometimes it’s through advice of a loved one.  Sometimes it’s through His word, like today.  Sometimes it’s alone in prayer, through a blog, or learning from someone else’s mistake. 

Instead of God catering to Cain’s whining He gave him a tool to get through the rest of life with.  Life won’t always be fair.  Probably not what Cain wanted to hear.   You know what?  We’re not told either why God accepted Abel’s offering and rejected Cain’s.  But I’m willing to bet Cain knew why.  

These verses spoke to me because no matter what–whether God rejects my offering or whether my plans aren’t turning out as I thought,

1) I must continue to do well.  If I don’t sin is crouching at my door.

2) God will give me the wisdom and correction (later in Ch. 4) I need, NOT what I want to hear.

3) If perhaps I should not do well **gasp** sin is crouching but I must master it and not let it trip me up.  If I heed not God’s warning who knows the sin that will ensue. 

4) This just came to me.  If my countenance has fallen could I ask myself this question–What am I blaming God for?  Or, Am I blaming God for something?

What do you think?

9/25/08

Yesterday I finished the couch to 5K running plan.  Today my legs are punishing me for it.  But who cares.  I finished it.  I can run 3 miles for the first time in my life.

So now what? 

I didn’t lose one pound in nine weeks of consistent working out by the way.  What does that tell ya?  I can really pack it down. 

 A little discouraging but I liked running so much I kept at it.  So that’s what I’ll continue to do.  Someday I’ll win the war on food but until then I’ll keep running and working out.  If I’m fat at least I’ll be in shape.

If there are any couch potatoes out there who want to drag their carcass off the couch and pound the pavement go towww.coolrunning.com.

August 22nd, 2008

In the last 2 days our plans have done a complete 180 in our household.  I’ll explain.

Let me back up.  Last Sunday at church a new friend asked me where my kids go to school.  I told her we were homeschooling this year.  We had made the decision a week or so earlier.  I told her how we’ve been praying about this for months and while I didn’t have a super clear leading homeschooling was what God wanted he hadn’t lead us to anything else and there were only 2 weeks till school started so we concluded this is where He was leading.  I told her I was excited and we were doing a lot of preparation at home, looking into curriculum and such.  Truly, I was excited to try this once again and conquer this challenge successfully another year.

Fast foward 2 days.  At about 9:15pm I get a call from an unknown number and I don’t answer.  They leave a message. It was the private school my kids attended last year and she said it was important that I call her back tonight or first thing in the morning.

I do and she says there’s a family that wants to give a scholarship to a family and If we’d be interested in that.  I was like, yah, but let me talk to my husband etc.  She then asked how much we can afford–like to contribute in case the family wasn’t supplying the whole 100%.  While I don’t want to get into specifics on this blog about money I will say that one reason we never applied for a scholarship was because we figured they didn’t give away as much as we need (and they don’t).

While this is amazing that someone would do this and they’d call us I was in an emotional tail spin.  What???  God am I deaf when it comes to your voice?  I thought you wanted us to homeschool?  And I’ve prayed for months for this exact thing why make it happen after you let me believe one thing?  I wan’t complaining about His provision but upset because I got it so wrong thinking I had it right.  I brought these concerns to my husband very frustrated.  I said how can I even make choices when I can’t even hear God.  I felt like I was facing forks in the road with no guidance as to which road to take.  I always seem to make a decision and then back track.  So he talked to me, calmed me down with his God given wisdom that’s been a constant in our marriage and then said we’re going to pray.  The only way we’ll accept this scholarship is if God provides for exactly what we need.  Not out of greed but out of getting this choice right.  We pray as we always do in these situations– God we want your will, open doors or close them and we’ll obey.  We pray very specifically on things so we can see the answer clearly.

For two anxiety filled days (and one coldsore for fun) calls and emails were exchanged between me, Jake, and very sweet lady at the school.  She called last night and said the family (not be confused with the school, this is not from their scholarship fund) wants to provide for exactly what we need (which trust me is a significant amount).

We said OK.  Today I registered my children at the school.  Do I believe I am finally on the right track and have taken the path that God has set for us.  I do.  We didn’t ask for this, we were picked, someone bent over backwards for us, God provided and answered our prayer specifically.  Unexpected?  Understatement of my year.

I’m still talking to God about things but I’m a peace with once again a turn of events I’d never expected.  God’s working a plan in my life that I realize more every day that’s He’s in complete control of.  I’m thanking Him for working in my life and upsetting it just enough that I have let go again of everything and put it in His hands.   And praise Him for His provision.  What’s a boat load of money to us is so little to Him and if He wants us to have it…He’ll get it to us, despite what we do or path we think we’re going to take.

August 21, 2008

I decided to run outside today since the weather is much cooler than it has been.  I figured it’s been rainy, cloudy, windy all day so it must be a good day to run (for me anyways.)  My husband comes home and I prompty get dressed to go run.

Somehow I managed to run during the only sun break of the day.  It shined on me the whole time.  There was one stretch of the run that I could feel the sun bouncing off my glistening forehead and I’m sure I’m slightly sunburned.  

I looked up and realized I was surrounded by gray stormy looking cloudy except where I was running. There was literally a circle of sunshine.  How precious.  The moment I got home the circle closed and it became a little misty.  That is my life.  

If I were to describe this workout in one word I’d pick the word…. FreakingHard…that’s one word, really.  It was challenging to put it mildly.  My grandma could probably speed walk faster than I was running.  I once had to pause the iPod to get my breathing under control because I took a few deep breaths and realized I wanted to keep taking them.  Then I meditated on the word BEAUTIFUL and that helped me awhile. Specifically how beautiful discipline and hard work are.  Then I focused on my songs.  Then I focused on how pretty the concrete was for the last 3/4 miles or so.  BUT thank goodness for stoplights.  I was at first irritated after the first half mile I had to stop to cross the street.  But then, on the way back, and it was now 2 1/2 miles into it, I was praying for the stoplight to come quickly. 

The last half mile my head was on fire and I just concentrated on one foot forward at a time.  

But I did it.  Running is hard but I really like it.  One more run!  Then I’m on my own.

August 20th, 2008

ugust 20, 2008

So I’m at such a weird place in my Christian life.  Sometimes I feel so far out in left field that I’m just too far gone.  I must not be really saved is the lie that will creep in.  Why bother even trying…and so the ugly story goes.
Then I read this verse out of Jeremiah 18:

“Thus says the Lord, “Behold, I am fashioning calamity against you and devising a plan against you.  Oh turn back, each of you from his evil way, and reform your ways and your deeds.”  But they will say, “It’s hopeless!  For we are going to follow our own plans, and each of us will act according to the stubbornness of his own evil heart.

So I read that and it struck me.  If God’s warning them, in the midst of their sin and sorrow, then it’s not too late.  Had they repented they’d been okay.  But they thought they were hopeless, too far gone.
It hit me that I get caught up in that, or actually I am caught up in that.  I used to be much better at confessing sin to God and accepting and believing God’s forgivness.  But somewhere along the way I let a lie creep in, and began to believe it, or entertain it at least.  I started thinking, why bother repenting, I’ll just do it again.  Why even try?
That’s a dangerous road to find yourself on.  But this verse simply said to my heart, It’s not too late.  I’m always here calling you to repentence.  It’s NOT hopeless.  If it were you couldn’t hear my voice.  My mercy is waiting, my grace is ready to be lavished upon you.  Turn from the destructive path that hurts you and walk with me.
Through whatever sin I was dealing with or walking in I was still hearing God but not realizing how HUGE that was.  Instead I was saying something so similar to the Jews, It’s hopeless, I’m just going to follow my own plans and act according to my own stubborn heart.
With tears I thank Him.   Oh how lost I’d be without him.  Like Matt Redman sings, “Oh no You (God) never let go…”  He never lets go of me even as I stray He’s the

august 19th, 2008

So I have these books that explain “things” in an age appropriate way, you know–the birds and the bees…

I have two of these books one for 3-5 year olds which is very benign, no biggie.  The second one, for 5-8 year olds I believe, however goes a little further even using the s word (s3x) but in very good taste, Christian based.  

Two years ago when my kids were 6 and 4 I read book one…neither of them cared too much.  So two nights ago I thought why not.  “Hey kids want to learn about our bodies and how babies are made?”  ”Yeah!!”  We sat down on the couch and began to read.   

My almost six year old daughter paid little attention finding her bobble head toys much more interesting.  My son engaged me with some questions here and there.  Everything very matter of fact and a little interesting to him, while he picked at some dead skin on his feet.  Never embarrassed or anything. 

Their response when we were done?

“Can we play Club Penguin now?”

August 18th, 2008

I started my final week of the Couch-to-5K running plan today and ran for 33 minutes, or as I like to say, 3 miles!!  I don’t think I’ve ever run 3 miles in my 32 years–not even in my highschool sports life.  I probably could’ve though back then but the most I think I ran then was 2 miles. 

Anyways I turned off the treadmill and felt RAD and wanted to yell “woooo hoooo” but I controlled myself.  So two more runs and I’ll have completed my running plan.  I’m so excited.  I won’t stop when I’m done.  When I’m done I plan on running this distance for awhile and get faster and try and start running outside more. 

I’m going to look for a 5K race in October, when it’s cooler.  And until then just keep running.  I’d like to run for sure 3 days a week and shoot for 4 with cross training in between.  We’ll see what life permits.

Anyways I’m so happy.  I felt soooo good after this run too.  I did have a little pain in my shin but not much and toward the end got a little pain in my lower back.  It almost felt like my sciatic nerve because it went down my right leg.  It wasn’t bad though.  If it’s not one thing it’s another with this out of shape, overweight body.  But I have lost about 4 pounds so I’m getting there.

August 14th, 2008

Me, my kiddo’s, and my mom just got back from Lincoln City.  It was a nice restful time.  The kids played in the sand and explored the tide pools.  My son loved the tide pools.  My daughter loved the sand and the water.  It’s fun to see how my two kids are so different.

We were blessed with decent weather.  We even had some gorgeous blue sky today.  I will post pics tomorrow when I’m on my husband’s computer. 

I’m thankful for this little two day trip I just had.  I prayed for blessing on this trip because for a bit there I thought we weren’t going to be able to make it because my daughter and husband got sick right before.  But by God’s grace, my son and I stayed healthy and my daughter got better and we were able to go. 

So this will probably be our last little adventure for our summer vacation this year.  I’m glad to have had it. 

Enjoy the rest of the summer, time flies.

August 11th, 2008

So it’s official, we ARE homeschooling this year.  This time around I’ve already started differently than the first time.  I’ve included my husband in the decision making. WOW what a concept!!!  Ha!  The first time I just decided we’re homeschooling.  This year after months and months of prayer I sat down with the kids and with Jake and we talked about it.

Since we have one year under our belt we talked about what we want to see happen this year and NOT happen.  Jake was understandably a little hesistant so I asked him what he’d like to see happen in order to give his blessing on this year of homeschool.  I wrote it all down and will do my best to make those things happen.

So…I’ve got a lot of work and organizing to do before now and September. 

If YOU homeschool and read this blog I have a fun request.  In my comment section list one thing you’ll do differently this upcoming year and one thing you’ll do the same.  I might even make this a regular thing–questions about homeschool–for all our benefit.  I think it’d be fun.

Enjoy what’s left of the summer.  It’s going fast.

P.S.  Is Homeschooling one word (Homeschool) or two words (Home School)?

August 11th, 2008

So things were going well.  I’m up to 28 minutes and my second 28 minute run was GOOD!  After 4 grueling runs where every minute I wanted to quit having a good one felt good.  I good run consists of getting in a groove where I feel I could run for a long time and I feel good.  And I could’ve but there was this nagging pain again in my right shin. 

I haven’t been able to do much working out in between runs becuase our life’s been hectic so I haven’t been able to strengthen my legs and now my shins are paying for it again.  At least that’s my theory, along with a little too much fat (I’m working on that too).  So the pain continuted after the run and into the next day.  I knew it wasn’t going to be good.

So today I went in and after about 14 or so minutes of running I had to stop.  My leg was throbbing.   I got off and did a different workout the remaining time.  I’m so bummed!  I know if I give it some rest and do some different workout in between it’ll probably feel better in a few days BUT I’m so close.  I have 1 week of my plan left, ONE WEEK.  Which doesn’t mean I’m stopping but it means I’ll be at 3 miles.  I’ve worked two months on this and I want so bad to accomplish my goal.

So I’m headed to the coast for 3 days.  I get back on Wednesday and I’m hoping Wednesday I can run again.  We’ll see.  I’m probably pushing it but we’ll see.   A couple day break will be good though I think.

July 30th 2008 again

uly 30, 2008

Some of you may think I’m wacko for what I’m about to write but I’ll write it anyway. Do you think God speaks to us in different kinds of ways? Like through a license plate? Well I’m inclined to think He does after this weekend.
I went to a birthday party this weekend. I was wearing a shirt that I like but it’s not my normal T-shirt or tank top that I usually wear. It was pretty and girly and I liked it but was a little self conscious in it. I was also a little apprehensive of how others would perceive me. Besides the shirt there were a few other things I was feeling a little nervous about.
On our way there we stopped at a store. As we were walking in the parking lot I glanced over at a car and the license plate read, “Be Secure”.  It struck a chord with me.  ”You talkin’ to me??”  I thought, yah I think He is talking to me.  Sounds funny, and normally I doubt it myself, but in this case I was instantly comforted. So I went with it.  I conjured up some confidence and kept walking.
But later as my confidence waned I prayed for clarification on this “Be Secure” message. What’s it mean God? His answer to my heart was for me to be secure in His love for me. It’s enough. Carry that security though the night. No matter what anyone says or does or how I feel His love is enough. So throughout the night I carried that with me. And it helped.
So later after the festivities Jake and I get to our campground and I was nervous about cougars and rattlesnakes. I’m a bit of a scaredy cat so the signs posted about rattlesnakes and cougars just intensified my fears. And then “Be Secure” popped into my head again.  The 2 words that encouraged me earlier were encouraging me again but with a slight different meaning. Be secure, things will be fine. Just enjoy the night. OK and I went with it.  I relaxed and let peace be with me.  
But there was more.  I strongly felt it was as if this was God’s bigger meaning for the message because here we were enjoying this unexpected date night.  We had been thanking and praising God for it because we realized what a complete gift of God it was.  He wanted me to enjoy it to the full and His gift to me (us, really.)   And I did.
So like I said some may think I’m weird that I think God used a liscense plate to comfort me but that’s ok.  Every good and perfect gift is from above.

July 30th 2008

Jake and I had about the best date night we’ve had in long time and it was totally unexpected.  We were both invited to a 70th birthday party over in central Oregon for a grandma of one of my good friends.  We’ve been friends forever.  Her grandma lives very close to Smith Rock.

We needed a place to stay.  As I started looking at motels I decided I did not want to fork over the money to stay at one.  So my sister’s cheap stay at an RV park got me thinking.  Why not pitch a tent somewhere?  We have a little 2 man tent we have not used since we’ve had kids, about 9 years now. 

We ended up finding a little camping spot within walking distance to Smith Rock and about a 2 second drive to grandmas!  So we went to the birthday party then hung out at grandma’s till about 9pm or so.  Then just before it got dark we went back to our tent — just the 2 of us.

We sat under the stars and talked, prayed and watched falling stars all while the towering rock spires looked down on us.  It was the first time in a long time I’ve got to see the stars and I was SO thankful.  We went to bed around 11 and woke up at 5:30 and began walking the trails around Smith Rock at 6:30.  It was so peaceful and even romantic!!  And we didn’t even realize what a treat we’d be getting when we went up.  It was the kind of date reminiscent of the kind of dates couples have before kids.  When you do things like sleep in 2 man tents and bring nothing but a little bit of snacks and one change of clothes.  Thank you Lord!

Games to play on a 12 hour road trip

Originally posted July 25th 2008

Take turns, each person naming a different kind of cheese, if stumped your gone.  (I won)

Take turns, each person naming a different country, same same.  (I won)

Take turns, each person naming a different state, yada yada.  (I won)

Sing Row Row Row Your Boat in rounds.

Using the tune of Row Row Row Your Boat pick animal sound and sing it in rounds.  Ruff Ruff Ruff, Bock Bock Bock  (warning: may cause laugh attack especially if performed 10 hours into the trip.)

Change words to Row Row Your Boat.  For example:  Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, throw daddy over board and listen to him scream.  Five days later, floating down the Deleware, chewing on his underwear, wish he had another pair.  Ten days later, bitten by a polar bear, that’s why the polar bear died.   (Continue to sing song changing the name of who gets thrown over board)

Do cartoon impressions.

Do impressions of family members and everybody has to guess who it is.

Do Jim Gaffigan’s “Hot Pockets” and SNL’s “More Cow Bell” impressions. Somehow instead of cowbell it got turned into ‘finger snap’.  ”I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is more finger snap!”  Ok so after 500 miles it’s funny–trust me.

Randomly throughout the trip blurt out, “diarrhea pockets” or “Did I eat that or rub it on my face?”  This only works if those in the vehicle are familiar with Jim Gaffigan.  If so it’ll bring a laugh every time followed by everyone quoting every line they know from the hot pockets skit.

Turn on the radio and magically Alan Jackson’s “GoodTime” will be playing every time…and when it is sing it good and sing it LOUD!  

Sing Christmas songs.  If someone in the car plays the drums have them play drums on the dash board — sounds cool!

Sing Opera

(While driving through the gorge games may have to cease while looking for mountain goats and/or while mommy has to keep her eyes fixed on the road and pray without ceasing because she’s freaked out by the wind gusts and keeps picturing the truck flying off into the Columbia river…uh…I’m just saying)

So yah that what we did, 5 of us in the truck, on our way from Montana back to Oregon Tuesday.  Good times!!

July 23rd, 2008

July 23, 2008

**update**not sure if it was clear or not but my sister just moved to Montana this weekend.  We’ve always lived close, always.  And we’re very close as well.
…back to post…
We are back from Montana.  We got to stay an extra day thanks to Jake’s wonderful supervisors at work.  My sis is there.  She’s my middle sis.  I’m the youngest.  We have one older too.  So the older one was sad all weekend.  Then my middle sis has been really sad today as things are sinking in but she’s been sad for awhile now.  Right now it’s wanting to hit me…  I’ve been sad for awhile but I’ve just stuffed it away because she hadn’t left yet.  Then she left on Friday but I was going with her so I stuffed and stuffed.  Today as we hugged goodbye in Montana the tears stung my eyes but I stuffed once again.  I just think I’d rather live in denial or something.
But since writing is my outlet the tears are coming down.  I’m going to miss having her so close.  I’m just going to miss her, period.

July 18th, 2008

I finished week five of my “Couch-to-5K” running plan.  This week ended with running 20 minutes with no walking breaks.  I was nervous when I went into the gym.  When I first got on the treadmill I was doing my “brisk 5 minute walk” for warm-up.  I went to tighten my pony tail and when I brought my arms down I caught my ear phone cord and ripped it out of my ear.  Well the little plastic part flew off and I looked around and couldn’t find it.  I couldn’t stick it in my ear without that part.  So I sat it down and thought, “great I have to run my first 20 minutes with no music.”  But I tried once again and found the little piece behind me.  Then I nearly tripped getting back on the tread mill.  This was starting out great.

But finally my 5 minutes were up and I began to run (…more like slow jog but don’t tell anyone…)  So about at 9 minutes left I was tired and my legs were sore but I kept going.  I wasn’t winded but I was hot and sweating really bad and my legs hurt.  But I reminded myself no one is paying attention to my super red face so keep going.  

Anyways I did it and was happy.  

Yesterday I ran outside which I liked.  I did ok.  I was wondering how it would be compared to the tread mill and it wasn’t too much different.  I just can’t run in the heat which I didn’t it was around 8 or so and there was a nice breeze.  I over heat in the a/c gym I can’t imagine running in the heat.  I was thinking if I do run a real 5K I’ll need to do it in cool weather.  

So in other news…my sis moves tomorrow.  Weird!!  Sad!!  And that’s all I’ll say.  Me loves you Tam.  At least I get to have a road trip with you.  Maybe by the end of it we’ll be so sick of eachother it’ll be easy to say good bye??  Nah, probably not.  Well we won’t say good bye, we’ll say see ya later or better yet, “see ya online”…

July 15th, 2008 again

So tomorrow I start week 5 of my running plan.  My shoulder pain is gone.  That was strange.  One night it was so bad I couldn’t use my arm the next day it was as if nothing happened.  My shins aren’t hurting and neither is my knee.  So we’ll see what this week brings.  

Tonight we had dinner with an older couple from our new church.  It was such a blessing.  They made a delicious meal.  We had great wisdom filled, God glorifying conversation.  They have grand kids so their home had a room with toys and a Nintendo that kept our kids very happy.  They shared their hearts and how they have a heart to minister to young couples and told us about things God’s done in their lives.  They were kind and gentle and comfortable to be around.  They prayed for us before we left.  I’ll say it again, it was a blessing.

It was so hard for me to come to Monmouth and change churches even knowing it was God’s will.  During the pain I knew God’s plan would be for my good and be joyful but I tended to focus more on what I was giving up rather than what I was getting.  Now I’m sitting here at my computer with a content smile and tears brimming because God’s so merciful and loving.  He’s filling me with joy in this place that I just didn’t really want to be in.  

He’s so merciful to this sinner.  So merciful.  So good.  So sweet.

July 15th, 2008

July 15, 2008

The following verse has popped out at me two times in the last couple of days. I don’t know when the last time I read Habakkuk was so I was not familiar with this verse. The first time I heard it this past week it struck me as a nice, powerful verse and I took note of it. Then later — not even sure how much later if it was that evening or a day or two — but I was listening to a message by John Piper that my husband suggested and there was the verse again. I’m not one to think these things are coincidences. So again I took note and now well it’s on my blog.  I find it one of those verses that spur me on to continue the race come what may.

Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food;  though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls–yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.  Habakkuk 3:17-18

July 14th, 2008

ere’s a song that I really like for 3 reasons:

1.  It sums up my life for the past year…spot on every lyric speaks of my life recently.

2.  ”I will not be moved” is something I’ve held onto this year with “He never lets go” which is in the song as well.  

3. The idea of standing on grace– the name of this blog — is in this song as well.

Here’s the song and the lyrics are below. BUT this version she changes the lyrics just a tad on the part that she says she’s stands on grace… but the original version on the radio says the standing on grace part (or actually it’s grace I’m standing on)… details details 

(didn't post the whole thing.  natalie grant vid. and lyrics...)

July 11, 2008

So ok I had that bad day of running where my left knee was killing me afterwards.  Well it was hurting pretty bad and swelled up a tiny bit.  I figured I wouldn’t be running for a bit and would do different, low impact, type things and build up some quad muscles…

Then the next day my left shoulder was killing me (still is).  I thought at first it was sore muscles from running different the day before.  Because when I ran the day my knee was sore I was running all awkward to find a comfortable way of running.  Well as the day and then the next day I wore on I realized that I think I may have pulled something(s) inside my shoulder because I can’t relax my shoulder and it hurts to pull things and lift my arm… not sure what I did but I don’t think it’s too serious just needs some rest.

So yesterday I just did a different machine with high resistance to build up my legs. 

Today I went in and did the same type of machine.  I was discouraged because it wasn’t as fun and I didn’t want to give up running.  So I did this machine and pretty high resistance (for me anyways) and 20 minutes into my legs were fatigued…

…so I went on the treadmill.  I thought oh I’ll just test out my legs and see how they’re doing.  I walk for about 3 minutes and then start running at my normal speed.  And it hurt.  Dang!  So I take the speed down .3 notches…and I ran for 15 minutes straight with no pain…(which is the longest I’ve ran so far in this running plan(not ever though let’s just make that clear right now ha ha I haven’t always been this out of shape))

I let my legs do their own stride and what was comfortable…and off I went.  I was so energized because I thought maybe I can keep going after all.  I’m still not going to run 2 days in a row for awhile.  I will continue to do some lower impact stuff and try to build up my leg muscles. 

I am so excited!!!!  My shoulder is still hurting me but it doesn’t hurt when I run.  I’m hoping it will heal itself in time. 

July 9, 2008 again

So I’ll start with the rotten grass.  It’s gone!  My husband got rid of it on Saturday so no more worries about my dog eating it.  Phew.

This past weekend was busy busy but fun fun.  We spent 2 days of the 3 day weekend with our new church family which was Friday and Sunday.  Well we spent the majority of the day with them those days.  Talk about crash course in getting to know your church fam.  It was a very good thing though.  I plan to post a little more about that on my other blog.

On the 4th we went to our little town parade, just the 4 of us.  The kids brought their baskets and filled them with lots of teeth rotting candy.  (And I’ve found as they’re getting older it’s harder to steal their candy.  They do share a little though.)   We also had this fighter get fly right over Main Street too right before the parade started.  That was super cool because it was very low.  It was so low I was thinking…uh is this ok?? are bombs going to be dropped soon??  Are we going to live through this…  My daughter was terrified for a brief second and my husband was all ….dude, that was soo cool, that made my whole day dude….  just kidding he didn’t really say “dude” 

So then we spend the rest of the day over at a friends house where we bbq’d, swam, jumped on the trampoline and talked and then roasted marshmallow’s around the campfire.  The town fire works started around 10 but we could barely see them.  But the kids who didn’t seem to mind had a bunch of glow sticks and they started jumping on the trampoline in the dark and that became our entertainment for the next 45 minutes.

So that was our 4th.  

Boring post.  Ok so I’ll just cut it short there.  Except I will say today I started week 4 of my running plan.  My shins are back to normal but my left knee is killing me.  I had surgery on this knee back when I was 18 and it’s not liking my new life style.  So I may have to side line running for a bit and do some strength training and some lower impact exercising and drop a good 15 lbs… well I hope to run sooner than that.  I may test my knee each week and see how it is.  But today after my workout I wanted to cry.  Probably mostly out of frustration because I’m enjoying running but today I had to concentrate so hard to find a stride that didn’t hurt.

So…we’ll see.

Have a great week peeps (ha ha i accidently type “pees” at first)…

July 9, 2008

And I don’t mean Orange County.

No this is MUCH better, or I should say HE is much better.  I’m talking about Oswald Chambers.  I love OC (as I so affectionately call him in my journal).  He encourages me and challenges me on a regular basis.  I’ve had his devotional journal since 1999 and I read it regularly and everytime I do I get SO much out of it.

Have you read My Utmost For His Highest?  Me loves it.

Here’s an excerpt of today’s reading.  I thought it’d be fun to quote from him often as he speaks to me…  Here’s today’s (I have to run outside and get it since I read it out on my porch swing this morning…uno mommento…)

You say–But God can never have called me to this, I am too unworthy, it can’t mean me.  It does mean you, and the weaker and feelber you are, the better.  The one who has something to trust in in is the last one to come anywhere near saying–”I will serve the Lord.”

July 8, 2008

Right now my husband is faking our dog out by “throwing” popcorn but not really throwing it.  My dog is currently searching for the popcorn that isn’t there.  Poor thing.  My husband is laughing and throwing, laughing and throwing  Oh, he just threw an actual piece.  I think that was a pity piece.  Sort of felt sorry for the pup.

So… yah… iced my shins tonight.  Neat.

July 2, 2008 again

***warning:  not for those easily grossed out or currently eating or feeling sick to their stomach***

So since it’s ten till one a.m. I have 10 minutes till bedtime so I thought, “why not blog?”

So our dog who ate the rotten, composted grass…

well this morning I let him out to potty but I couldn’t keep an eye on him but I thought…oh I’ll check on him it a bit…you know because I didn’t want him eating from the pile of compost formally known as grass shavings…

oops I forgot about him during my hustle bustle of a morning….

So about 15-20 minutes I look outside.  He’s not by the pile, rather he’s over to the side of the yard with his nose in the grass…he’s licking it I think…

well then next to where he’s licking is this ginormous pile of black mystery stuff…which I conclude is either digested, puked up or pooped up, compost-formally-known-as-grass-shavings-rotten stuff…

So then I’m thinking what is he licking???

I dont’ EVEN want to know…I yell at him to get his butt over here and get in the house you sick nasty disgusting dog you…uh…and then he comes in and i put him in his crate because I don’t want his tongue or any part of his stubby little big body coming near me…

So later I go check out the piles.  The ginormous one, well I still can’t figure out if it was pooped out or puked out, but it’s very similiar in texture and color and substance to the compost pile… the second pile was…oh what a sweet dog I have… a smaller version of the first pile.  So he was basically re-eating whatever just came out of him that was originally– pre-digestion –already rotten, decaying, nastified grass (this pile of old grass shavings is black by the way…no green grass color in sight…

That’s my boy!

July 2, 2008

July is a grrreat month.  This month we’ll celebrate my 32nd birthday and my son’s 8th birthday. 

oh yes … uh my kids are hovering around me and watching my every finger stroke.  Kenna’s begging me to play writing…which is just playing on the computer word program.  Caedmon is reading everything I type.

Kenna would like to write a letter to Maddie her cousin.  What do you want to say Kenna?

What is your um July gonna be like?  What is your favorite color?  What is your favorite food?

Now Caed would like to tell the world what he wants for his birthday.

Well, uh (giggle) any kind Lego set you want to buy me but it has to be Star Wars or Indiana Jones but if you don’t what Indiana Jones is just buy me Star Wars.  And if you don’t know what Star Wars is just buy me Indiana Jones.  So, uh, if you don’t know what Star Wars or Indiana Jones just buy me anything you can find for me, like toys or any other things.  And, let me think, (giggle) uh, or just any other Lego set you can find but it has to be what I like, just get what you think I would like too, and that’s all.

(enter many giggles because mommy just typed something funny and then deleted it)

“Can I play writing now”–Kenna. and “Now can I play daddy’s computer?”–Caed

“Please can I now?”  (giggle) — Caed

“Mommy! I want to play!”  (whining) “I! Want! To! Play!”  (yelling) “I! Want! To! Play!  “Mom this is not a joke!”

Mommy don’t type this mom…MOM!!!  MOmmy I really do want to play writing so listen to me…

—ok must go now–  Yes Sis, Kenna I will obey you now!

June 30th, 2008

So, tomorrow I start week 3 of my running program.  I am actually liking this.  I have found much joy in going to the gym and running…WHOA what???  What did I just say?  Let me reread that

(one sec here…pause)… 

Ok had to double check and see if I typed that right and I did.  Yep it’s true.  Wow, never thought I’d say that.  In the past (a million years ago) when I ran I liked it.  But it’s been awhile (10+years) and I just couldn’t get back into it and enjoy it.  It was so stinken hard.  But this program has been really great at easing me back into running and building me up slowly–so right now I’m doing a combo of walk/running.  But this week is my first week where I’ll be running the same amount of time as walking.  The last two weeks I walked just a little more than run (not counting the 5 minute warm up walk).

But it’s also been a huge stress reliever.  I went to the gym 5 days this past week and each day I so needed it.  I would arrive at the gym uptight and irratable and come home energized.  I felt like I could feel the stress float away the moment I started.   

What’s weird is 2 months ago I had started working out but not running and I did not have this experience.  Me no likey gym.  But this time it’s different.  It’s just been fun, plain and simple.   I will say even though this recent experience has been good, I’ve still struggled a little bit.  The struggle has been one of feeling out of place.  I’m thankful that at this gym there are many pudgy people like me that go there and work out but I still feel self conscious when I walk in. 

I’m not in cute work out clothes.  I wear the same work out pants every time because that’s all I have.  My face is beet red when I’m finished and sweat is pouring off me.  I’m alternating with running and walking so I feel so weak compared to those who go in their and run the whole time.  But I’ve forced myself to do it anyways.  It’s also helped to have my little iPod shuffle.  I turn the music on and go into my own little world.  I really couldn’t do it without it. 

I think my husband is in shock.  He’s delighted and he’s been very encouraging.  I know he’s wondering what’s up, but heck if I know.  It just feels good. 

Anyway I’m excited because tomorrow is a new adjustment to my routine and I am anxious to see how my body does.

June 29, 2008

t’s Saturday night and I’m thinking, “My peeps need an update…”  Ha ha.  Just kidding.  I’m home alone right now as Jake and the kids went on a bike ride.  Me’s no have a bike so I’m at home.  Which honestly is OK with me right now.  Soon I’ll get a bike but I’m OK without one right now.

So today Jake emptied out a yard debris container that was full of grass shavings…and maybe more I don’t know…but it hasn’t been emptied for many moons.  Jake said it plopped out like one big blob of sludge…and it STUNK really bad.  It stunk so bad that my son, who was in the back yard, (Jake was on the other side of the house, yelled, “What’s that smell???”) 

{Whoa just had a flash back of last week and the pool stinkage incident.  Which is better now by the way}…

Ok so Jake saw a family of four walking down the road nearing our pile of what was once grass shavings but is now compost and he high tailed it in the garage and hid.  Now the pile is drying out in the back yard (and stinking it up) so that he won’t be so embarrassed when he takes it to the dump.

But that’s not all folks!  Later on in the day our dog must’ve thought he died and gone to heaven because apparently he like the taste of compost.  If our dog dies soon you all know why.  We stopped him of course but who knows how much he ate.  He got into it once more and got a whippin! 

What’s with our back yard, stinkage, and rotten grass?

June 27, 2008

Anybody that knows my husband wouldn’t be surprised if I told them he brought home “No Sugar Added” ice cream.  Normally it’s just low fat ice cream but he must’ve felt pudgy last night so it was the no sugar kind. So last night he bought some and him and the kids had some.  No biggie…

So then today I dished me up some…I should’ve known bad things were gunna happen when on my last bite instead of savoring the last lick on the spoon and contemplating scooping out some more… I grimaced and said “YUCK”.  A conclusion, mind you, I came to mid way through the bowl of ice cream but did I stop then.  Heck no, I’m no quitter.

Pain, gurgling, (use your imagination)…. has been my friend ever since…

Friends don’t let friends eat “No Sugar Added” ice cream….

Just say no to “No Sugar Added” ice cream….

I have my iPod on and I can still hear my stomach and it won’t stop…it’s like the ice cream gave birth to a little gremlin inside my guts. 

Somebody help me… (burp)

Blog About Jake

Originally Posted June 25th, 2008

Jake is my husband.  He says I’m taking over his computer.  Well that’s because my son has taken over mine to play Club Penguin.  So yah my husband is going to run a 5K with me.  He doesn’t need to train that’s because he’s already in shape.  Somehow he married me.  We are complete opposites.

He’s in shape I’m not.  He’s a clean freak, I’m messy.  He’s organized (in theory) and I am too… I know where everything is on those piles of paper on my desk.  Yes, there’s a desk under those piles!  He values clothes put away in drawers.  I’m happy just to get them washed.  He’s a hard worker, I’m a hardly worker.  He’s O.C.D,  I’m N.O.T.  He’s a morning person I’m a night person. 

He’s shorter than me.  He’s lighter than me.  He’s “perfect dad” and “perfect husband” and I, well I give my kids cookies for breakfast and my husband is really good at ironing… He’s always right but don’t tell him I said that because I won’t admit it to his face.  He’s humble–He apologizes when he’s wrong, I just be quiet.  He tells jokes and people roll on the ground.  When I tell jokes I get a courtesy laugh.  He’s a good story teller and I watch people's eyes wander as I'm talking, then I quit talking mid story, and they don't even notice.…

But we do OK… in fact we do great.  We’re a great balance, I’d say.

Everybody's Leaving Me

Originally Posted June 25th, 2008

First my sweet cousin Jen took off to Montana this past February.  When she left I couldn’t stop the tears and cried all the way down her drive way.  I didn’t even say bye to her kids because I didn’t think I could.  Montana is her paradise on earth and they’re happy to be there and I’m happy for them… BUT …
Next comes my sister Tam, who’s following my cousin.  I just live in denial right now.  She leaves in July…she thinks sometimes that people won’t miss her…oh how little does she know how much she’s loved….  I will miss her… I wish not to see her go and secretly hoping it’s not forever.  God’s got something big for her there and I know this is a good thing for her… BUT…
BUT these two people have been a huge part of my life forever but most most most the last 3 years.  What will I do with them so far away?  We’ve got together once a month for the last 3 years for our girls night.  We loved going to out to eat at different restarants, each ordeing something different and sharing.  We always tried new countries.  Our favorite is Greek or Israel type food…  Then it was a  bookstore where we’d sit in the “religious” section and talk about God for hours.  Shopping sometimes and coffee always (or tea for Jen)  I especially remember the prayer sessions too.  We all have God/Jesus in common and that bonded us like nothing else could.
Friday will bring us all together for for the first time since Feb.  We may try to squeeze one more in July before Jake and I drive her to Montana in July.
Then today I found out that my brand new BFF (   )  ) Brandi is moving to a town 4+ hours away.  We’ve just got to know eachother since April, God’s got us on similar paths and we clicked instantly… And she gave me back my joy of writing … Again it’s a situation where I’m happy for her as I’m always happy for people to experience new things and go on adventure’s and embrace whatever God has for them….BUT…
BUT we just met…we have kids similar ages, we laugh, we’re silly, we both like red wine, we both annoy our husband with our inconsistant feeling with schooling our kids, we only live about 15 minutes away from eachother…we both have felt like islands amongst the trees, we both just got comfy at Calvary and made connections…now we both follow our husbands and we’re ok with that because we LOVE God and know that we’re really following HIM, our Home.
As the tears sting my eyes right now I am telling the truth when I say I’m happy for each of these individuals…I KNOW that God has a plan for each of us.  I pray we go forth and take all that He has for us and embrace it!!  For this is not our home.  Home is where Jesus is.
But…

June 23, 2008

This post will give you a look into my life as if you were a fly on the wall…

This morning (shh don’t tell anyone) for breakfast I had 2 chocolate chip cookies and 3 cups of coffee with Irish Cream creamer.  This morning (shh really don’t tell anyone this either) I let my son have a chocolate chip cookie with his breakfast. 

It’s past noon and I’m still in my PJ’s…

Entry from Journal this morning…

By the way face is recovering from Monster Zit.  And as I took joy in that, I discovered Mt. Coldsore developing.  Went into mini-depression — involved cookies, and chips and salsa.  No food’s not an idol in my life, why do you ask?

The mini depression was last night.  Was feeling so darn beautiful.  Today I’m better though.  I’ve embraced the cold sore and even thanked God for it.  Me and cold sore are buddies now. 

Oh so in all seriousness here’s 2 things going on in our world…

1)  We re-arranged our living room.  The TV is out!!  Love it so much better now.  Now it’s very inviting for visiting and communication, entertaining that type of thing. 

2)  Thanks to my friend Allison and her inspiration I am training for a 5K…which is only 3 miles but let’s just focus on the 5K…sounds way cooler.  I found a great running plan on www.coolrunning.com.  It’s called the “Couch-to-5K Running Plan”.  Perfect for someone like me.  I’m start week 2 today.  So far, so fun!