I said that to myself tonight as I looked for my keys for the upmteenth time in my entire life. I was really annoyed. I was seriously annoyed with myself. How dumb can you be?? When are you ever going to get a clue and learn to put your keys in the same spot everytime.
But then I thought...where did I see my keys last??? Ding...my husband!! That's it. He needed them last night to get some stuff out of the car. So he says he put them on the counter. But I went and checked the pants he wore yesterday...Jackpot.
Glad I didn't need them today while he was at work.
So I haven't been here in awhile. Blogland that is. Well it's mostly due to my connection. It's slow and annoying.
So lately we've been house hunting ...and finding zip. It is just so expensive. So we're at a stand still. We'll probably rent. But we're actually having a hard time finding a place to rent. So who knows. I am getting really sick of it all.
Hubby's job is going well. A bit slower paced then his last job but interesting with a lot to learn. Also my husband might start training for a fight soon (ultimate fighting style). He is having trouble deciding for sure due to the time conflice but I think he should. I will keep you posted.
I know he wants to. It's his dream and I think he would do well as long as he works on his boxing skills.
So I decided to not homeschool. Sending my kids to school. My son Kindergarten again probably and my daughter PreK 3 days a week.
well friends i'm hoping to get in the blog mood again soon but right now I'm not. Tired.
later over and out roger dodger
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Thursday, June 08, 2006
The Truth
Jesus said that He is the truth.
I had to remind myself of that tonight. As one roams around the internet one's mind can become overloaded with too much information. All too often information is conflicting and each side is right and has all the facts to prove it. Something one thought was true can be shattered in a moment.
It's taught me to 1) Know why I believe what I believe about anything and 2) know it for myself not be spoon fed my beliefs. It's also shown me how easy I believe something just because someone said it. How naive I've been not to question anything.
So in my quest to read about different sides I find myself confused. Who's right? Who's wrong? And if the side that the majority thinks is wrong is actually right...wow we're really in for it...we've been duped...there's more to than this world than meets the eye.
I'm not neccissarily talking spiritual beliefs here but more so just world affairs. For example, are the pharmaceutical companies really corrupt, are vaccines really causing harm to our children, was there something fishy going on behind the death of Nick Berg, is there one big huge conspiracy theory going on, population control, rockefeller monopoly... etc etc...
Seems sort of out there to even type that but you just never know what the truth is....
But I do. It's simply Jesus. Oh yah. I nearly got caught in the "web" of information lying wait for me in cyber space.
Of course there are those who don't believe that and can give you one million reasons why ... even calling Christianity the biggest conspiracy that ever was/is.
Oh well I fell for Jesus what can I say?
I had to remind myself of that tonight. As one roams around the internet one's mind can become overloaded with too much information. All too often information is conflicting and each side is right and has all the facts to prove it. Something one thought was true can be shattered in a moment.
It's taught me to 1) Know why I believe what I believe about anything and 2) know it for myself not be spoon fed my beliefs. It's also shown me how easy I believe something just because someone said it. How naive I've been not to question anything.
So in my quest to read about different sides I find myself confused. Who's right? Who's wrong? And if the side that the majority thinks is wrong is actually right...wow we're really in for it...we've been duped...there's more to than this world than meets the eye.
I'm not neccissarily talking spiritual beliefs here but more so just world affairs. For example, are the pharmaceutical companies really corrupt, are vaccines really causing harm to our children, was there something fishy going on behind the death of Nick Berg, is there one big huge conspiracy theory going on, population control, rockefeller monopoly... etc etc...
Seems sort of out there to even type that but you just never know what the truth is....
But I do. It's simply Jesus. Oh yah. I nearly got caught in the "web" of information lying wait for me in cyber space.
Of course there are those who don't believe that and can give you one million reasons why ... even calling Christianity the biggest conspiracy that ever was/is.
Oh well I fell for Jesus what can I say?
Monday, June 05, 2006
Like Sands Through The Hour Glass...
(all together now)...so are the days of our lives.
Think about life. Millions of people have lived and are dead and gone. Millions of people are living right now. What does life matter? Think about it. Our life is but a vapor. Four or five generations ago people existed that I don't know but without their life I wouldn't be here. I don't even know their names. So. Why are we here?
I find it mind boggling to think about. All the people that have existed on this earth, their lifetimes to them seeming to last a long time yet now they've been dead longer than they were ever alive. They had a spot in this world, a circle of influence, a purpose. It almost seems as if our life is meaningless, igsignificant in the whole scheme of things.
Sometimes when I get weighed down with lifes burdens, or find myself off track in my line of thinking...I remind myself. Why am I here. Our life is so short time should not be wasted. I remind myself that God has a purpose and a plan for me and I have but a short time to carry that out. I don't know completely what it is except that which is immediate. I have to kids to invest in and one husband to build up and encourage and to love. If that is all that I'm here for than that is enough but I don't think that it is.
I do think life has meaning and that our short stay here has significance. I exist for God and his purposes. I don't have to know what it is in every circumstance because I know that what I do now will impact generations--things which I'll never see this side of Heaven. But I know that as long as I'm living to glorify God than I'm sure I'll do fine and won't miss all that He has for me.
Yet there are time (too many to count) that I don't bring Him glory. I mess up. And that too can impact generations negatively. But I just have to pick up, face it, and ask Him for forgiveness and cleansing and keep on going. He knows how imperfect I am yet He includes me anyways. Because of His great love and grace I can participate with Him where He's working.
Anyways I'm just rambling.
I was thinking about that because life has been so clustered lately. Nothing black and white nothing sure (although it is getting there) yet I have to remind myself regularly to remember what matters.
Sometimes I feel if as I'm making progress in this life. Like I'm making progress spiritually, relationally, emotionally...etc...and then there are days when I think, "will I ever get it??" So far 2006 has been a "will I ever get it?" year. I screw up daily in my thoughts and my actions. The devil jumps on it with the lie, "you can't be saved if you do that or think that." And I have this inner tumoil just bubbling up inside me. Intellectually I know I'm saved but really I wonder sometimes, "wow where was the love of God in that thought??" Or "where was the power of God when you made that dumb choice again??" Where is this power of God I hear about others having?? Why do I feel like I'm striving in my own strength every day yet when I pray for His strength or His power I still fail.
Somethings that God has taught me this year about this is having pure faith and fighting against the enemy and resisting temptation to the point it hurts. So I guess those are positive. (I do tend to focus in on the negative.) He's also taught me about humility. My pride still likes to rear it's ugly head all the time but I'm more aware of myself and my limits, my humaness, my sinful nature then I was in my past. That is for sure.
Also sometimes when I start to get foggy in my belief about how God sees me or His love for me I remember how I feel about my own children and when they mess up...but also how I feel about their disobedience and such. I realize that God tends to show me mercy a bit more than I do my own kids. But remember the relationship between me and my Father in Heaven helps me to see things clearly once again.
..still rambling..
One thing God is teaching me as well is about His love through me for others. I have been painfully made aware of, since I became a Christian 10 years ago, how selfish I was before Christ, how selfish I was after Christ, and how selfish I am still 10 years later after thinking I've made progress. I have a lot to learn in this area. I'm naturally not a servant. Unlike my husband who's gift is servanthood. God has used him to teach me what serving others looks like. My husband will do anything for his family. I've also noticed with those who have the gift of service they see other's needs before they arise. I on the other hand can have a hint right in front of my face and not recognize it...except I must say that is becoming less and less true as God is teaching me. Because there was a time that I didn't even realize I wasn't recognizing it. I just thougtht I was so sweet and so nice and was the best friend anyone could ever have. Now I'm just trying to learn to act on the needs I see...I tend to hesititate due to fear...fear of uncharted territory, fear of rejection, fear of attention, as well honestly sometimes selfishness or laziness. Baby steps I suppose.
(in case you are still reading I'm still rambling) I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks these things??
Ok well I am actually done with rambling. Prayer requests...pray we find the place to live that God wants us too. We want to be out of here by July 1st!!
Think about life. Millions of people have lived and are dead and gone. Millions of people are living right now. What does life matter? Think about it. Our life is but a vapor. Four or five generations ago people existed that I don't know but without their life I wouldn't be here. I don't even know their names. So. Why are we here?
I find it mind boggling to think about. All the people that have existed on this earth, their lifetimes to them seeming to last a long time yet now they've been dead longer than they were ever alive. They had a spot in this world, a circle of influence, a purpose. It almost seems as if our life is meaningless, igsignificant in the whole scheme of things.
Sometimes when I get weighed down with lifes burdens, or find myself off track in my line of thinking...I remind myself. Why am I here. Our life is so short time should not be wasted. I remind myself that God has a purpose and a plan for me and I have but a short time to carry that out. I don't know completely what it is except that which is immediate. I have to kids to invest in and one husband to build up and encourage and to love. If that is all that I'm here for than that is enough but I don't think that it is.
I do think life has meaning and that our short stay here has significance. I exist for God and his purposes. I don't have to know what it is in every circumstance because I know that what I do now will impact generations--things which I'll never see this side of Heaven. But I know that as long as I'm living to glorify God than I'm sure I'll do fine and won't miss all that He has for me.
Yet there are time (too many to count) that I don't bring Him glory. I mess up. And that too can impact generations negatively. But I just have to pick up, face it, and ask Him for forgiveness and cleansing and keep on going. He knows how imperfect I am yet He includes me anyways. Because of His great love and grace I can participate with Him where He's working.
Anyways I'm just rambling.
I was thinking about that because life has been so clustered lately. Nothing black and white nothing sure (although it is getting there) yet I have to remind myself regularly to remember what matters.
Sometimes I feel if as I'm making progress in this life. Like I'm making progress spiritually, relationally, emotionally...etc...and then there are days when I think, "will I ever get it??" So far 2006 has been a "will I ever get it?" year. I screw up daily in my thoughts and my actions. The devil jumps on it with the lie, "you can't be saved if you do that or think that." And I have this inner tumoil just bubbling up inside me. Intellectually I know I'm saved but really I wonder sometimes, "wow where was the love of God in that thought??" Or "where was the power of God when you made that dumb choice again??" Where is this power of God I hear about others having?? Why do I feel like I'm striving in my own strength every day yet when I pray for His strength or His power I still fail.
Somethings that God has taught me this year about this is having pure faith and fighting against the enemy and resisting temptation to the point it hurts. So I guess those are positive. (I do tend to focus in on the negative.) He's also taught me about humility. My pride still likes to rear it's ugly head all the time but I'm more aware of myself and my limits, my humaness, my sinful nature then I was in my past. That is for sure.
Also sometimes when I start to get foggy in my belief about how God sees me or His love for me I remember how I feel about my own children and when they mess up...but also how I feel about their disobedience and such. I realize that God tends to show me mercy a bit more than I do my own kids. But remember the relationship between me and my Father in Heaven helps me to see things clearly once again.
..still rambling..
One thing God is teaching me as well is about His love through me for others. I have been painfully made aware of, since I became a Christian 10 years ago, how selfish I was before Christ, how selfish I was after Christ, and how selfish I am still 10 years later after thinking I've made progress. I have a lot to learn in this area. I'm naturally not a servant. Unlike my husband who's gift is servanthood. God has used him to teach me what serving others looks like. My husband will do anything for his family. I've also noticed with those who have the gift of service they see other's needs before they arise. I on the other hand can have a hint right in front of my face and not recognize it...except I must say that is becoming less and less true as God is teaching me. Because there was a time that I didn't even realize I wasn't recognizing it. I just thougtht I was so sweet and so nice and was the best friend anyone could ever have. Now I'm just trying to learn to act on the needs I see...I tend to hesititate due to fear...fear of uncharted territory, fear of rejection, fear of attention, as well honestly sometimes selfishness or laziness. Baby steps I suppose.
(in case you are still reading I'm still rambling) I wonder if I'm the only one who thinks these things??
Ok well I am actually done with rambling. Prayer requests...pray we find the place to live that God wants us too. We want to be out of here by July 1st!!
Sunday, June 04, 2006
What a Good Weekend!!
My husband and I spent the weekend celebrating our 9 year anniversary at this place, www.cricketwood.com . It was a relaxing, fun, peaceful weekend. We have not done anything like this since we've been married. After our honeymoon we have spent one night at the coast and 2 nights at home alone (since kids). So this was over due and such a good refreshing weekend.
Cricketwood is wonderful. Very, very reasonably priced. In addition to a huge, gorgeous, romantic room you get a huge breakfast (lots of choices from big menu), a bevarage of choice delivered to your door whatever time you want in the morning, evening homemade cookies and bevarage delivered to your room, downstairs is a fridge packed with drinks (pop, water, beer, wine) as well as a freezer with ice cream--help yourself as much as you want all included--as well as snacks like popcorn and powerbars. They also have an extensive movie closet you can pick what you like and take to your room and watch. Every room has satellite TV. Also in our room we had a gigantic jet tub and large shower, a super comfy King size bed and full size couch with double recliners.
It's located just 5 minutes outside Bend. Out in the secluded countryside. It was really a great time and we will definately choose to go back there in the future. They also had a video in the room about their personal story of how the cricketwood B&B came to be. That was encouraging to me and my husband in ways that I won't go into right now. We felt that it just might not have been a coincidence that we choose this B&B to stay at. I would highly recommend this place to go for a romantic weekend getaway or even a girls weekend out.
We got there Friday and then stayed in that night since we didn't get there til right before 9pm. We were welcomed by our PB and Choc. Chip cookies and milk and hot cocoa. Then Saturday we were welcomed by our coffee at 9 and then our yummy breakfast of Baked Pancakes and Creme Brulee French Toast and fresh fruit at 10. We took a 2 mile walk around the high desert country. Then we decided to go see a movie since that is something never really get to do. We saw The Break Up. It was good yet the ending frustrated the both of us :) We then went to the Deschutes Brewery for dinner. We came back and I took my second super hot bath with jets and bubbles (i really miss my bath tub since living in this 5th wheel). We then dined on our evening cookies and watched Walk The Line (the Johnny Cash movie) which we both thought was very good.
The next morning we ate and then checked out. It was nice nice nice!! Thank you to Uncle J and Aunt B for taking care of our babies and my mom and dad and Aunt T for dogsitting Blackjack!! And Cousin Jen for offering to be our backup dogsitter. What wonderful family we have.
I missed my kids the moment I left them. The quiet and the peace and time alone with my husband is sooo nice but knowing I won't see them for 2 days and nights made me a little sad. I could tell when I left them that they looked at me with just a hint that they realized something was different, but at the same time they knew they were spending the night with their cousin which they could not wait for, they were very excited. So anyways I was missing them a little bit but reassured myself and told myself everything would be fine. So then Friday night I wake up in the middle of the night from a bad dream about my kids...that's all I needed. But I prayed and went back to sleep. After a nice quiet weekend with my husband I was very happy to see them. It's funny how being a mom can be so exhausting and the thought of some "me" time seems so nice but then the moment you leave them it's like...you just start missing them. Or something like that it's hard to express what I'm trying to say.
--Note to self (the fire and the canyon)--
Ignore that little sentence...just something to remind myself of later.
In other news...my son graduates from Kindergarten this week. Super cute. Can't wait to be done with driving to school everyday. That'll save us a few hundred dollars.
Next on our list is to be out of this 5th Wheel by July 1st!! Also my husband starts his new job on the 12th. This is his last week of work for my dad. :( Bittersweet.
Have a good week,
xoxo
Cricketwood is wonderful. Very, very reasonably priced. In addition to a huge, gorgeous, romantic room you get a huge breakfast (lots of choices from big menu), a bevarage of choice delivered to your door whatever time you want in the morning, evening homemade cookies and bevarage delivered to your room, downstairs is a fridge packed with drinks (pop, water, beer, wine) as well as a freezer with ice cream--help yourself as much as you want all included--as well as snacks like popcorn and powerbars. They also have an extensive movie closet you can pick what you like and take to your room and watch. Every room has satellite TV. Also in our room we had a gigantic jet tub and large shower, a super comfy King size bed and full size couch with double recliners.
It's located just 5 minutes outside Bend. Out in the secluded countryside. It was really a great time and we will definately choose to go back there in the future. They also had a video in the room about their personal story of how the cricketwood B&B came to be. That was encouraging to me and my husband in ways that I won't go into right now. We felt that it just might not have been a coincidence that we choose this B&B to stay at. I would highly recommend this place to go for a romantic weekend getaway or even a girls weekend out.
We got there Friday and then stayed in that night since we didn't get there til right before 9pm. We were welcomed by our PB and Choc. Chip cookies and milk and hot cocoa. Then Saturday we were welcomed by our coffee at 9 and then our yummy breakfast of Baked Pancakes and Creme Brulee French Toast and fresh fruit at 10. We took a 2 mile walk around the high desert country. Then we decided to go see a movie since that is something never really get to do. We saw The Break Up. It was good yet the ending frustrated the both of us :) We then went to the Deschutes Brewery for dinner. We came back and I took my second super hot bath with jets and bubbles (i really miss my bath tub since living in this 5th wheel). We then dined on our evening cookies and watched Walk The Line (the Johnny Cash movie) which we both thought was very good.
The next morning we ate and then checked out. It was nice nice nice!! Thank you to Uncle J and Aunt B for taking care of our babies and my mom and dad and Aunt T for dogsitting Blackjack!! And Cousin Jen for offering to be our backup dogsitter. What wonderful family we have.
I missed my kids the moment I left them. The quiet and the peace and time alone with my husband is sooo nice but knowing I won't see them for 2 days and nights made me a little sad. I could tell when I left them that they looked at me with just a hint that they realized something was different, but at the same time they knew they were spending the night with their cousin which they could not wait for, they were very excited. So anyways I was missing them a little bit but reassured myself and told myself everything would be fine. So then Friday night I wake up in the middle of the night from a bad dream about my kids...that's all I needed. But I prayed and went back to sleep. After a nice quiet weekend with my husband I was very happy to see them. It's funny how being a mom can be so exhausting and the thought of some "me" time seems so nice but then the moment you leave them it's like...you just start missing them. Or something like that it's hard to express what I'm trying to say.
--Note to self (the fire and the canyon)--
Ignore that little sentence...just something to remind myself of later.
In other news...my son graduates from Kindergarten this week. Super cute. Can't wait to be done with driving to school everyday. That'll save us a few hundred dollars.
Next on our list is to be out of this 5th Wheel by July 1st!! Also my husband starts his new job on the 12th. This is his last week of work for my dad. :( Bittersweet.
Have a good week,
xoxo
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