So we are now both at OSU. So he's living with his brother and a highschool chum. I'm living with at first my dorm partner from my freshman year...she moves out quickly not her cup of tea. I think it was the fact that I was so into my fh at the time I wasn't home much and she was bored stiff. So she went back to the sorority that she had quit over the summer.
Then I decided to move into some apts. and fh and his bro and a diff. guy would move into the apt. directly above ours.-which is whole other blog post--.
I'll just stick to our relationship.
So the beginning of the year. I can remember walking to class on the the first day of school thinking this is a new year and a new beginning. But those positive vibes didn't last long at least in the way I expected.
My fh and I continued to fight. In October though things changed for him. He has started to read the Bible and go to weekly get togethers with a Christian ministry on campus. He also lots of Christian booklets laying around his place (at this point we're not in the apts.) He invited me to a couple of meetings. At first I said no. I did decide to start reading the bible though. And read some of the booklets he had. It sounded good yet I wasn't too into change just yet.
I finally went to a meeting. I was freaked out. Not because of anything that went on there but because of the feeling inside me. That feeling that kept saying, "respond, respond, respond" but no way did I want to. I look back and just see that it was a pride issue and somewhat fear of the unknown. But I did not respond that night.
One night we went to a Halloween party and we got in a fight on our way there and I freaked out and left him there and went back to his place. No one was there and I was just gunna get drunk literally I just wanted to be numb. So I pulled out some alcohol and stared at it. But in my head a little pamphlet that I read a week or so ago came to my mind. I knew that pamphlet talked about making a decision to follow God. I sat there and pondered the choice. Do I drink or go read the pamphlet again?? The alcohol, I reasoned, would work for a bit and then leave me in the same spot I was at the moment. But what would the book do? I chose to read it.
I read it and at the end it had a prayer...I comtemplated the prayer. Was I ready? Was I ready to make a decision for God and leave my old ways behind. I had been faced with this choice a few times in my life prior but never was ready to make the change. But I was now.
I had tasted a lot of what the world had to offer and it left me empty. It had brought me to a point of wanting to drink the pain away. My sweet boyfriend couldn't fill me, a good life, popularity, partying, nice things...nothing could fill me. I had nothing to lose and so I gave it up. I gave up my life and all that I was living for for a life dedicated to God.
My fh came home later and I told him what I had done. That I had said the prayer in the back of the book.
What did he say? Until next time...
In other news...we are moving this weekend. Also a sweet young woman in our church died this week in car accident... so sad yet she loved and lived for the Lord and I'm excited that she is with HIM. Her heading on her myspace was "I am my Beloved's..." How fitting for her. She was his and lived and danced for him and did everything for His glory. She will be greatly missed for she touch many lives but we rejoice that she is with her LORD...
Personally I had never met her but I definately knew who she was. She choreographed all our plays at our church and other events. I also got to know her dad, who's and associate pastor at out church, when I went to Israel 2 years ago. He's a super cool guy!! I'm sad for them but I'm just thankful we all know the Lord and love him and I know they mourn with HOPE and joy knowing where there daughter is. I bet they are so proud of her.
Anyways hug your family and friends today, treasure who is in your life because we are not guarenteed one more day. And moreover, get to know your God in heaven who loves you and cares about you and wants a close personal relationship with you.
Until next time.
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