Words Of Encouragement

People sometimes describe words of Scripture as "jumping off the page" at them. Isaiah 53:3 did just that at me this morning.

"He (Jesus) is despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief."

Last night I was reflecting on how unhappy I seem. I am grateful for the things and people in my life. Very. But this world can be very depressing and the war of good and evil that goes on in my soul can be very tiring. The headlines in news can be unbelievably sad. My own sin shames me to tears often. Even the vastness of God can be so overwhelming I feel hopeless to ever grasp anything about him. All that gets me down. I feel sad a lot.

I was wondering if I should get some anti-depressants. Which I did once about 7 years ago. They helped me in the short term but I don't believe my sadness is chemical. I think it's just a result of life.

I often feel rejected--even if part of that rejection is my fault (introvert, fearful, shy). So although Jesus was rejected and despised, sorrowful and grief stricken for reasons much different than my own and completely justifiable the fact that words jumped out off the page and straight into my heart led me to believe that God was letting me know that He's been there and He understands. And He loves me.

And I'm not just a freak. ;)

I'm tired.

If my hubby were here I'd go to bed. When the school year hits the late night bed times are a thing of weekends only. And even then they are not as late as summertime bedtimes.

Roadblock. I'm at a spiritual roadblock. I think I may know what I need to do to get past it but it's painful... it's hard... it's rough. I don't know though. There are a couple facets of what I think I need to do. It might be that I only need to do one thing. I'm in avoidance right now.

I'm tired.

I can't complain

Things are still going well. Weird. I said to myself tonight, "School is what I needed." I think I needed the routine. I think the kids needed it too. They have been more obedient lately and cooperative. Not as much whining, and thanks to an early wake up time, going to sleep quickly. The early mornings are kicking my butt but it's good for me.

My kids are enjoying school too. So far my son loves 4th more than 3rd and my daughter is smiling when I see her on campus. So nice. And so fun seeing them twice a week during lunch. I'm so glad we could come back to this school. Each year we are getting to know it more and more, and friends and parents as well.

I'm just full of joy right now and I'm very thankful for it because I know at any moment it could change.

Wow I have a blog

I was sitting here wondering what to do since I just exhausted the internet and remembered -- oh yah I have a blog again.

Yay.

**crickets**

Ok so I have a new job.  It's official title is.... da da da dum.... Lunch Lady.

Today was my first day and I. Loved. It.  It is noise, chaos, and tons of cute kiddos.  I love getting to see my kids during the day and getting to know their classmates.  It's only 2 hours, 2 days a week.  And it's just fun.  My official role is "Monitor".  I hand out trays and such and tell the kids when they can be done and go to recess.  :)  Today I had to hold a bunch of quick eating, anxious 4th graders for 10 minutes.  At 10 seconds they started to count down.  And off they went...

But it was only my first day.  Let's hope it lasts.

In other news...

**crickets**

My dogs gas is seriously too much.  (He farted as I finished the sentence.)

**wafting hand in front of face**

Ok so in more serious news...

Uh I don't have anymore serious news.  I'll leave off on two notes.  First the last 2 days have been so good.  As in I've been happy!!  Days like these are rare and I cherish them.  They feel good.  Normally I'm melancholy or fighting off the blues or Satan or my own nagging negative personality but not these last 2 days.  Nope.

For that I'm thankful.

And lastly in honor of my first day as Lunch Lady I leave my faithful "reader" (if only in my head) with this video:



Onward!!

I feel like blogging...

So might as well do it on my old blog. I did write on my new one for awhile and then left it and now I'm on this one again. This one is closest to my heart though since it was my very first.

Today my kids started 1st and 4th grade. :) Fun times. Yesterday they had a "meet and greet" at their school and by God's sweet grace my daughter's 2 besties were there. That in turn made her excited for the next day of school. A day she'd been dreading.

The next day came and she left on the bus like nobody's business. My son was already excited to go back to see his best friends. (Later we found out one didn't come back.) And off they went on the yellow school bus. All smiles.

And I was happy.

I had already decided to head to the school to meet them there on their first day. Their still young enough where that's OK for mom to do. But it turned out to be a big mistake for my daughter, the big 1st grader. When she saw me the tears began to well up and she wiped them away one by one as they brimmed over. I knew I must get out of there. I prayed a quick prayer over her, encouraged her, and I was out the door.

And I was melancholy.

I went to see my son as fast as I could for the bell had already rung. I peeked in but he was already hard at work. (Later I found out it was a word search.) But he was content and happy I could tell. He had no bad feelings about the first day of 4th grade.

I was still down. My own tears wanted to form but I held them back. I know she'd be OK but I knew the battle was still here this year as it was last. And I had hoped it was over with the triumphant bus ride. I couldn't help but wonder should I have not peeked in at all? Had I not what would the next day have been like? Would she have been just as excited the second day?

Now I'll never know.

I do know she's not excited tonight as I type this... well not excited about school. I can hear her and her brother across the house making weird noises/screams when they should be in bed... Hmm I better go be mom and tuck them in and call it a night.