February 22 Then and Now

15 years worth of journals.


My journals are filled with my mundane life-- babies, husband, weight roller coasters, depression, family and friends, struggles and celebrations and Jesus is the glue that holds it--me--all together.

I thought it'd be fun to go through them and blog journal entries concurrent to the day I'm blogging.

Snippets from journals this day, then:

Feb 22, 2003
"Okeedokee - It's been a while since I've been able to write and it's been awhile since I've had a quiet time.  Anyway - so here I am with open arms.  Caed pooped in his pull-up today.  I thought we were over that but nope - we ran out of toys (prizes) and now no poop on potty."

Feb 22, 2007 (a memory wrote down in one of my favorite devotional books)
"Kenna singing "oh no you never let go, through the calm and through the storm" playing with toys and laying on our bed"

And now:

Feb 22 2015

"When you find yourself in a time of desert - remember what God has brought you through and do not let your heart be hardened."  

Preaching to myself

My Original blog I started in 2005.  I think I post at least once a year.  :) Where are we?  Well our son will be 14 in a few short weeks.  Our daughter 11.  I turn 38 in a week and Jake has reached the infamous 4-0.

I am going back to school for accounting.  I work with Jake now, enjoying the work and environment.  Life is cruising a little too fast for my liking.  5 short years and my son will be off, presumably to college.

Most of the time I feel like I'm in the middle of a hurricane and I can't really focus on anything, everything whirling by my face at breakneck speeds.  I'm desperate for it all to slow down, to focus on just a few things and savor the moments.  Rather it feels like I barely taste the morsels of life.  Brief savory bits pass through my teeth but all that remains on my taste buds is the bitterness of things that don't matter.  Homework, housework, obligations, the 8-5.

I try to make the meaningless matter since it takes up 90% of my life.  Find joy in the humdrum and the rush.

But the 90% matters just as much as the 10% sporadic blissful moments that seems to go as fast as they come.  None of it's meaningless.  Everything can matter.  If--when--I grasp that and flesh it out the storm calms and joy breaks through, restored.

Veteran's Day

Make up.  My daughter noticed I wore more eye make up than usual the last 2 days.

Vets.  Veterans.  Today is that day.  Thankful for those people.  They are incredible.

Osgood-Schlatters, MRI, Starbucks, bread, Community, son and Son, contentment.

was 11/11/13

Alone(Royals + Ted + Radical + Babies + Though You Slay Me) = 11/10/2013

In that Order.

Today you threw a party for you daughter's 11th birthday.  (1 of 3)  This party was for her school friends.  You always get a bit nervous (hoping you do a good job entertaining and making it a fun party for the guests and your daughter) a little anxious (lots of little, loud, crazy girls kind of makes you a little on edge) but a few minutes in you were glad you put forth the effort making this happen.  Her smiles, their smiles, laughs, silliness galore, tie dyed shirts, headbands as mustaches, pictures drawn by friends of her favorite things (animals!), hula hoops, lip gloss, cupcakes and singing and dancing.   The memories made will be worth it.

The night before you were out late shopping with your favorite person Jessica.  You were super tired eyes red from a week's worth of poor sleep and early mornings but this was the time you had.  And shopping with your best friend (along with some Vietnamese food in the sketchy part of town) made it fun and doable.

You woke up early on a Saturday for all the last minute prep and last visit to the grocery store.  Jake and your son helped get the place ready and together much was accomplished

You also were grateful for meeting the parents of her cute little friends and the opportunity to know her friends a little better.  They are pretty sweet little tweens.

Jake video'd on Caed's cam you took pics (poor Caed was working on Algebra) and Jake as only Jake can talked in silly voices and talked about boogers and the girls laughed and laughed.

You've never been much for the rambunctiousness of kids but you're getting better the older you get and the older your kids get and you are enjoying it.  True you didn't allow a sleepover... that would've been a little too much.. this time anyways.  

So in a short while your parents are coming over for party 2 of 3 along with more of your favorite people.  And you'll be tired once they all go home but you'll smile when you remember you can sleep in Sunday (since church is at 4 now).  And you'll know even if in a few years all will be forgotten the happiness of now makes it all worth it.  Togetherness, celebrating, laughs, and food.   You love your baby girl.