Back to Life Back to Reality...

Well I got back yesterday...a bit car sick from the drive home. That went away but then exhaustion hit. I was tired the rest of the night and went to bed early. My son asked if I'd come snuggle with him ( I was already in bed) and I was like oh honey how about tomorrow night...he cried big Alligator tears and then asked if he could sleep in our bed and I said oh honey it's too small for the three of us and I really want to sleep in my bed tonight because of the last two nights of a pretty uncomfortable bed.

He went to his room and cried.

I thought about it a bit and I was like duh Kelli he misses his mommy. How could I miss that?? I think it was the selfishness in my tiredness...so my husband went in his room and told him to go get in bed with mommy and that daddy would sleep in his bed. So he did. Even after he got in he cried for a bit and told me he was so sad. So we talked a bit snuggled close and soon all was better. I thank God that He opened my eyes.

Normally it's an every night thing that he wants us to snuggle with him or he wants sleep in our bed and sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. So I think I was numb to the reality that this wasn't the normal routine but more that I had been gone two nights and he missed me. Besides God's nudge it was that his cry was sadder and deeper than normal and not his little whine that he normally does.

So anyways the Retreat. It was good. Some seeds were planted in my heart. As well I had a worship experience unlike any before. I'm used to the modern day worship services with band and contemporary music and with that I usually have emotional experiences. By that I don't mean bawling or wiggin out but just more like my emotions are stirred and I feel the worship. And I sincerely feel I'm worshipping but I know at the same time too it could be reaction to the music (i.e sad songs can make you feel sad etc)

So at this retreat it was just a piano and more hymn style music. Very simple and old school. But I was very open to it because I know God could work in me through it. So as I worshipped although I wasn't feeling much I just prayed and I was like, "Lord help me to focus on you and the true meaning of worship and praise you no matter if the feelings are there are not or if I know the song or not." So there were 4 sessions altogether and with each session my worship was more and more--well worship but still with no emotions. By the last morning I was sincerely worshipping without the emotional experience but truly just there in praise adoration and worship of God. That is the best I can explaine it. It was really cool.

Everyone else was very into as well and I believe many seeds were planted. I feel that the work that went on in that retreat was solid. That seeds were planted in good soil.