I'm not a quitter gosh darn it!!

So tonight after 4 months of deliberation and zero productivity I decided not to quit my writing program through the Christian Writers Guild. I started it a little over a year and a half ago. Around September I was thoroughly convinced I stunk at writing and was too busy to do it anyways. Each lesson drove me nuts and I figured what's the use? If I had in my opinion an ounce of talent, some potential, I'd keep going. But I really felt that I was more of a "for myself" type of writer and that was fine. So it's ok to quit right? Well I tried to convince myself it was but tonight I just couldn't go through with it.

So I picked up where I left on and nearly finished my assignment. I'm hoping to turn it in by Friday before I leave for my retreat. I emailed my mentor and told her I'm still alive. So I'm on that road again.

I really do like to write but I realize at this point in my life I don't want to write professionally nor do I have the skills for that yet nor the time and motivation to improve my skills. In the future that could still be a possibility. As for now I'm going to stick to my committment and get this course done. I have til September but I'm waaayy behind.

In other news...yes I'm going to a women's retreat this weekend. Should be quite interesting if it's anything like the last time I went. I am looking forward to the setting and getting away for some quiet time with God...I so need it. My relationship with God right now is so weird. I need some clarity, some black and white, and me getting back to the basics, clearing the clutter, and probably some recommittment. I do love my Lord but sometimes my life reflects how much I love myself, my time, my pursuits, my own will... etc etc.