August 22nd, 2008

In the last 2 days our plans have done a complete 180 in our household.  I’ll explain.

Let me back up.  Last Sunday at church a new friend asked me where my kids go to school.  I told her we were homeschooling this year.  We had made the decision a week or so earlier.  I told her how we’ve been praying about this for months and while I didn’t have a super clear leading homeschooling was what God wanted he hadn’t lead us to anything else and there were only 2 weeks till school started so we concluded this is where He was leading.  I told her I was excited and we were doing a lot of preparation at home, looking into curriculum and such.  Truly, I was excited to try this once again and conquer this challenge successfully another year.

Fast foward 2 days.  At about 9:15pm I get a call from an unknown number and I don’t answer.  They leave a message. It was the private school my kids attended last year and she said it was important that I call her back tonight or first thing in the morning.

I do and she says there’s a family that wants to give a scholarship to a family and If we’d be interested in that.  I was like, yah, but let me talk to my husband etc.  She then asked how much we can afford–like to contribute in case the family wasn’t supplying the whole 100%.  While I don’t want to get into specifics on this blog about money I will say that one reason we never applied for a scholarship was because we figured they didn’t give away as much as we need (and they don’t).

While this is amazing that someone would do this and they’d call us I was in an emotional tail spin.  What???  God am I deaf when it comes to your voice?  I thought you wanted us to homeschool?  And I’ve prayed for months for this exact thing why make it happen after you let me believe one thing?  I wan’t complaining about His provision but upset because I got it so wrong thinking I had it right.  I brought these concerns to my husband very frustrated.  I said how can I even make choices when I can’t even hear God.  I felt like I was facing forks in the road with no guidance as to which road to take.  I always seem to make a decision and then back track.  So he talked to me, calmed me down with his God given wisdom that’s been a constant in our marriage and then said we’re going to pray.  The only way we’ll accept this scholarship is if God provides for exactly what we need.  Not out of greed but out of getting this choice right.  We pray as we always do in these situations– God we want your will, open doors or close them and we’ll obey.  We pray very specifically on things so we can see the answer clearly.

For two anxiety filled days (and one coldsore for fun) calls and emails were exchanged between me, Jake, and very sweet lady at the school.  She called last night and said the family (not be confused with the school, this is not from their scholarship fund) wants to provide for exactly what we need (which trust me is a significant amount).

We said OK.  Today I registered my children at the school.  Do I believe I am finally on the right track and have taken the path that God has set for us.  I do.  We didn’t ask for this, we were picked, someone bent over backwards for us, God provided and answered our prayer specifically.  Unexpected?  Understatement of my year.

I’m still talking to God about things but I’m a peace with once again a turn of events I’d never expected.  God’s working a plan in my life that I realize more every day that’s He’s in complete control of.  I’m thanking Him for working in my life and upsetting it just enough that I have let go again of everything and put it in His hands.   And praise Him for His provision.  What’s a boat load of money to us is so little to Him and if He wants us to have it…He’ll get it to us, despite what we do or path we think we’re going to take.