June 18th, 2008

A couple years ago I took a writing course that nearly killed my desire to write. It convinced me that I stunk at writing and needed a lot of work. So I stopped writing. I would write in my journals but that was it. Before I really enjoyed writing poems for people and seeing their reactions. Writing was my outlet, my therapy, a true joy.

I also had a different blog (link to the right) that I had started in 2005 and quit in 2007. I was done. My desire to write was slowly dying. I was convinced that I shouldn’t even bother. I was just mediocre. Nothing special. Boring.

Then in March of this year I came across a blog–Kari’s blog I honestly can’t clearly articulate why, but her blog inspired me to start blogging again. Her writing, so full of energy, drew me in. Somehow that was contagious and I thought I’m going to blog again. My mindset was still that I needed lots of work BUT now I knew that God had put the desire for writing in me and I was going to do it. I’ll improve as I go.

Then I met a gal, who’s now my dear friend, Mrs. Dayton, or Brandi as I like to call her. We exchanged emails and I casually mentioned my history with writing and how I’d like to take some classes and learn more about grammar, and expand my vobabulary. She wrote this to me. By the way she’s an artist.

(About writing). I had a friend that was the best artist I had seen she was amazing. She had come to hate painting after going through an apprenticeship with a professional artist for a year. After doing still life, after still life she became perfect. She said that she wished that she had never done it because it took all of the joy out of it. I also knew Earnest Hemingway’s great grand daughter, she went to OSU for writing and hated it, for the same reason that my artist friend started to hate art, Her teachers were always so critical and robbed the fun out of it. I think that writing is like art. I have read books that I hated because they were so full of words. You can tell when a writer wants to impress you with their vocabulary. I would way rather read something real. Any way just a thought. I think that what you are doing through and your words on your blog will really bless people.

With that email I realized my joy had been stolen. That writing is something God wants me to do. It was like I was being handed back my joy, my love of expressing my thoughts on paper–not only could I do it again but I was encouraged to do it again and do it BIG, fill it up with my heart. After talking with her I have wrote 2 poems, one for my mom and one for my dad, and 1 poem I posted on this blog. I can’t tell you how good it feels to write again. Especially those poems. I still want to improve because I have a stong desire to write down the ideas in my head clearly and effectively. Sometimes I get frustrated when I can’t find the right word or something. But it will come. What’s changed is that I can still write in the mean time. I may not be perfect but I can still touch people and I can still write. So I will.

Then after a few more really encouraging emails from Brandi a month or so later I get encouraged again by Kari on this very subject. Her blog post entitled, Write Some Trash which, in different words, encouraged me the same way Brandi’s email did. She was reviewing a book (that I have to read here soon) that said in essence for every 1 good work I may write 100 bad works, the point being don’t stop writing just because it’s not all wonderful. Be willing to write some trash, because one day I may write a treasure.

So it was neat. It was like a full circle with these two gals. First Kari, then Brandi, and then Kari again. God using these two precious women to encourage me. I have to say these two gals, both of whom are on my blog links to the right are great at what they do. Brandi’s an artist and Kari’s a writer. Their work is a true gift. They are true gifts to me.

I thank God because when things like this happen I feel loved personally by Him. He loves me enough and cares enough about me to speak to me personally to encourage me.

Be encouraged. If you have a urge inside of you to do something but you’re too afraid or discouraged because you think you’re not good enough or someone’s told you you’re not–do it anyway. God gave you that desire for a reason. Don’t let anything steal your joy.