June 30th, 2008

So, tomorrow I start week 3 of my running program.  I am actually liking this.  I have found much joy in going to the gym and running…WHOA what???  What did I just say?  Let me reread that

(one sec here…pause)… 

Ok had to double check and see if I typed that right and I did.  Yep it’s true.  Wow, never thought I’d say that.  In the past (a million years ago) when I ran I liked it.  But it’s been awhile (10+years) and I just couldn’t get back into it and enjoy it.  It was so stinken hard.  But this program has been really great at easing me back into running and building me up slowly–so right now I’m doing a combo of walk/running.  But this week is my first week where I’ll be running the same amount of time as walking.  The last two weeks I walked just a little more than run (not counting the 5 minute warm up walk).

But it’s also been a huge stress reliever.  I went to the gym 5 days this past week and each day I so needed it.  I would arrive at the gym uptight and irratable and come home energized.  I felt like I could feel the stress float away the moment I started.   

What’s weird is 2 months ago I had started working out but not running and I did not have this experience.  Me no likey gym.  But this time it’s different.  It’s just been fun, plain and simple.   I will say even though this recent experience has been good, I’ve still struggled a little bit.  The struggle has been one of feeling out of place.  I’m thankful that at this gym there are many pudgy people like me that go there and work out but I still feel self conscious when I walk in. 

I’m not in cute work out clothes.  I wear the same work out pants every time because that’s all I have.  My face is beet red when I’m finished and sweat is pouring off me.  I’m alternating with running and walking so I feel so weak compared to those who go in their and run the whole time.  But I’ve forced myself to do it anyways.  It’s also helped to have my little iPod shuffle.  I turn the music on and go into my own little world.  I really couldn’t do it without it. 

I think my husband is in shock.  He’s delighted and he’s been very encouraging.  I know he’s wondering what’s up, but heck if I know.  It just feels good. 

Anyway I’m excited because tomorrow is a new adjustment to my routine and I am anxious to see how my body does.